these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
