So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
