Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
