Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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