i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize