waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
