Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
