Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
