im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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