I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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