But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
