spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize