Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize