i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
