Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize