thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
