I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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