What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
