Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
so much tequila, so little girl.
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