so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
