i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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