I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
