I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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