So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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