Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
