Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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