Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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