i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
