i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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