I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
