it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
