I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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