i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
