So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
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Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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