Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
