i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
