no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
