Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
