As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
