I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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