I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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