we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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