I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
