she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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