just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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