I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
worst night to have a conscience
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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