I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
