billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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