What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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