its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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