then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
