I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize