omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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