i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
