I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
