i can't believe i had my finger in that
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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