How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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