I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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