$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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