Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
