let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
