well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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