I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
