god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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